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To Thine Own Self Be True
Last month we touched briefly on the concept of self-love and I would like to take the time in this month's newsletter to look into this
in more depth.
If you remember, we said that AGAPE love was an unconditional love and that we needed to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
Let us look more closely at why we have so much difficulty in the area of loving and accepting ourselves. We will start by looking at two very basic questions.
1.) Why do we have so much difficulty loving ourselves without question?
2.) Why do we feel we need the approval of others to validate our worthiness?
These are big questions and the basis of our non-acceptance of ourselves. We were not born with a negative self image of ourselves, in
fact, we were not even aware that we needed the approval of others. Acceptance of ourselves as individuals was a learning experience
from those significant others who were around us. Some people were lucky and had a loving and encouraging environment, while
others, sadly, grew up with condemnation and disapproval.
Because of disapproval that may have been experienced in our childhood years, many of us grew up with the generalization that "Since
they did not accept me, I am unacceptable." Through the repetition of key incidents in our lives we learnt to have a negative view of
ourselves. The problem arises when we fail to realize that these were childhood events. We still see them retrospectively through the
eyes of our inner-child. We must learn to stand back and put them in a different perspective. As adults we may now realize that those
who hurt us with their disapproval and criticism were acting in the only way that they knew how to act. Many did not realize the
extent of injury that was caused to our psyche. It is up to us now to rid ourselves of these self-sabotaging thoughts about ourselves and
face reality. We have two choices. We can either accept what was said about us and live with self-recrimination or we can choose to
forgive those who said hurtful, un-accepting things to us and rethink the situation.
Face it, we were not all perfect children and we are not perfect as adults either. All people can never be all good or all bad. We have to
come to the realization that we are human. We need to accept ourselves the way we are. That means accepting the bad along with the
good. We all make mistakes, we all have weaknesses. This doesn't mean that we stop trying to improve ourselves, but we must stop
condemning ourselves. We also must become aware of the things we want to change about ourselves because WE as individuals want
improvement in these areas, not because we feel that others want us to change. Accepting a situation is the first step to achieving power
over it. We can not live our lives for the acceptance of others. We need to live our lives honestly and freely.
Take the time to listen to your inner voice and find out who YOU really are. You are an individual and you don't need to conform to
what the world around you wants you to be. You need to discover who YOU really are and then gather the courage to let the real you be
you. You have the power to be your own person.
Let us stop putting on masks to represent the people we think others want to see. Don't feel you have to seek their approval. Take time
to learn who you are and then let the real you shine through. You are a beautiful person just the way you are and are worthy of love.
Learn to love yourself and you will see the world around you change for the better.
© March 2003
Sharron von Have
No part of this transcript may be copied or published without the authors permission. (I will usually ask for just a link in exchange)
MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES:
"Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is."
--Albert Camus--
"We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." - C. G. Jung
"The soul that is within me no man can degrade."
--Frederick Douglas--
"This above all; to thine own self be true."
--William Shakespeare--
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."
--William Shakespeare--
"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."
--William Shakespeare--
The capacity for getting along with our neighbor depends to a large extent on the capacity for getting along with ourselves. The
self-respecting individual will try to be as tolerant of his neighbor's shortcomings as he is of his own.
--Eric Hoffer--
Think highly of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate.
--Source Unknown--
The person we believe ourselves to be will always act in a manner consistent with our self-image.
--Brian Tracy--
Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.
--Doris Mortman--
It is never too late to become what you might have been
--unknown--
Be Sure to Read Our Other Articles
A Change Will Do You Good
An Attitude of Gratitude
Coping With Stress
Why Can't Everyday be Like Christmas
Follow Your Dreams
Love is in the Air
To Thine Own Self be True
Copyright © 2004
Sharron Myers
All
Rights Reserved.
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